See you later, San Diego!

As I am typing this in my parents’ dining room in Fremont, California, with my dog, Lily, on lap, the reality of what I am going to do is starting to sink in. I never thought this day would come, but here it is, presenting itself in less than 24 hours.

The responses I got when I told people about my year-long expedition varied from concern, excitement, and jealousy. Despite this, almost every person I told asked, Why now when it’s been so good?

I love San Diego. I lived there for almost 8 years. The first four, I spent at UC San Diego, going to school, making friends, partying (if I’m being honest), and finding myself.

I know some people who say that they blossomed in college. I know a very small handful of people who say they blossomed in high school. For me? I think my life came closer in focus in the last half of my time in San Diego.

Perhaps, I am still blooming.

I met a lot of people and made a lot of friends. At my going away party, my friends Thuy and Phill asked me, “How do you know so many people? Are we at a Craigslist party?”

Their comment made me chuckle, but I realized after looking around the room, how lucky I was to be surrounded by so many people who had been there for me in different chapters of my life. It also saddened me, thinking about the souls who couldn’t make it, because they were in another place in the universe — physically, mentally, or emotionally. The idea of everyone there and not there at once tore me up inside.

I have learned a lot.

I learned that there is no such thing as luck.

I learned that hard work, passion, and patience will almost always take you to where you want to go, if not further.

I learned how to love. I learned how to relentlessly give everything and anything, and how to receive and accept kindness.

I learned that the best kind of people are honest and will support you, without any excuses, without any guilt, without any worry of being owed back.

I learned that not everyone will give as often as they take.

I learned to be selfish.

I learned to be kinder.

I learned that you are allowed to feel any emotion — big or small, happy or sad, rational or irrational.

I learned that there is a balance.

With all these learnings, I leave San Diego full-hearted and ready for a new beginning. I have had a yearning in my heart to travel the world for as long as I can remember, and now it’s finally, finally here. Now is my time to be selfish. Now is the time to learn and explore on my own volition.

There is a lot of heartbreak in San Diego, but she has also been unreasonably good to me. So thank you for the people, the food, and the memories. It’s been a long ride. This is not a good bye, this is a “see you later,” and I’m looking forward to when we cross paths again in the future.